Haunted: Sequel to I Feel Mortal
by TheBlankPageattheBackofaBook
Summary: For when Saya sleeps, she sees blue roses bloom beneath the crimson atmosphere. And the tinted red ocean, crimson stars, and black night sky. And the other things she sees...She knows are all dead and yet they alive. PhantomxSaya, HagixSaya.
1. Haunted, A World Inside Myself

Saya woke up unpleasantly that night. Hagi sat in a chair next to the bed. Saya wrapped her arms around her waist and trembled. She felt the life in her womb, small but beautiful. Hagi's baby...it was meant to be Carl's baby though. Saya trembled, Carl's voice ringed into her mind.

"Saya, are you alright?" Hagi asked, setting a hand on her shoulder.

"Ye-yeah, just feeling a little sick. Can I be alone for a while?" Saya asked. Hagi nodded his head and left as Saya commanded. Carl's teasingly seductive words filled Saya's mind;

_I am the man who loves you, Saya._

Hollowing something inside her, the subtle part of her soul that still loved him.

_**Long lost words whisper slowly to me**_

_**Still can't find what keeps me here**_

_**(Ohohohohh)**_

_**When all this time I've been so hollow inside**_

Saya dreamt of him again, dreamt of the first night he kissed her. The first time he kissed her and she did not fight. Then, in her slumber, recalling that evening of nightmarish reality. The night she killed him and begged for his forgiveness. The night she repented for killing him and loving him. Cried for him and held him, perhaps, clandestinely mourning Phantom. Phantom was a part of Carl, and she loved Phantom all the same.

A shiver ran up her spine and she felt his fingers on her neck, caressing her skin along the veins. He's still hurting, mocking, and seducing her.

_**I know you're still there**_

_**Watching me**_

_**Wanting me**_

_**I can feel you pull me down**_

"Carl?" she called out his name. She felt his lips on her neck, she shivered and squeaked.

_I will be back to complete my love for you_

"Please...stop..." she closed her eyes and wept. Her body was pulled into her memories, every caress flowing into her body. She shivered from it and feared it...and yet she loved it. At least, she remembered she loved it when Carl touched her.

_**Fearing you**_

_**Loving you**_

_**I won't let you pull me down**_

_**(ahhhahah...)**_

Saya pulled herself from the memories, still feeling a subtle recollection of Carl's caresses against her skin. The scent of his blood filled her nose and its sweet flavor in her mouth. She clenched her teeth together and squeaked as if she was about to gasp hysterically into tears. She shot up from the bed, tearing through her closet.

Trying to prove Carl was not there before she went mad. His heart beat in her head, pounding and pulsing into her as she listened. How lovely it sounded and how she envied it.

_**Hunting you**_

_**I can smell you**_

_**Alive (Ahhahhahahh...)**_

_**Your heart pounding in my head**_

"Please, someone tell me he isn't here!" she pleaded, clutching her head and whimpering. Her blood raced through her and her heart beat so loudly with the one inside her head. Ever since she had killed Carl (for personal and obliged reason) she had been haunted. Haunted by his touch, words, and burns, haunted by her love and hate for him. Carl was her unreal obsession now. There was no way to get rid of him, but she wouldn't let herself go back.

Go back to being foolish and unintentionally deceiving her friends and family. And most importantly of all; her lover, Hagi.

_**Watching me**_

_**Wanting me**_

_**I can feel you pull me down**_

_**Saving me**_

There had been times when he had saved her from pain. Saved her the pain of tears and truth by holding her and solacing her. But, he was just lying. Their love was not real and it was nothing but pure seduction. All that was necessary was Saya's body, all that was needed was a child.

And yet, Carl treated her like an equal. Like a long lost lover, his love felt so real. It felt so real that even Saya couldn't deny. She would lie awake for hours and ponder about his words and touch. Only hoping that all love she had for him would die.

She loved Carl, and Carl loved to hurt her. And, back then, she used to like it.

_**Raping me**_

_**Watching me**_

_**(Ahahah times 8)**_

_**(Watching me)**_

"Please, I just want him to go away..." she wept. She fell to her knees and tried to suppress the tears. But, Carl would never leave her alone. He was inside her, in her blood and a perpetual part of her heart. Subtly embracing itself to torture her with every memory and sensation he offered her. The day she awakened Carl had kissed and she should've ran away. She didn't even know him and she already granted him her trust...and her hand.

She was a fool and ashamed of herself for loving him. And also ashamed that she had killed the one being she first fell in love in this life.

_**AHHAHHAHHH**_

_**(Wanting me)**_

_**AHHAHHAHHH**_

_**(I can feel you pull me down)**_

She could fell herself sink into madness with his essence, slowly and fearfully being pulled down by his lovingly startling grasp. Pulling her down and down until she was afraid of the dark and savoring his body's warmth.

In the darkness he was the only one to protect her from her sins. The only one who could keep her sane in the darkness before she went mad with regret and passion.

_**Feel you pull me down**_

_**(Fearing you)**_

_**AHHAHHAHHH**_

_**(Loving you)**_

_Saya, I will never leave you. I want revenge and in this world you belong to me. It's not exactly ideal but it's good enough. It's a world all our own! Don't you love me?_

Saya screamed as she felt his arms embrace her. Her eyes shot open, her sanity lost in a sea of guilt and confusion. She wanted to go to that world, tonight she wanted to see him again. She felt his arms tighten around her waist, his hands on her stomach. She could hear him chuckle contemptuously. His lips to her cheekbone, softly kissing her.

_And now, Saya, it begins. _

_**AHHAHHAHHH**_

_**(I won't let you...)**_

_**I won't let you pull me down!**_

_Close your eyes and give me your hand. No need to be afraid._

His hands tangible against her skin, and so was the pain.


	2. It Begins, the Pain

"Saya? Saya!" Hagi called, picking Saya off the floor. Saya lie eyes open and in somewhat a shock, she was shivering. Shivering from fear or the cold, it was a mystery. But, Hagi knew Saya was in some mental distress and needed to be taken to Julia right away.

For not even his blood could comfort her. Saya was sleeping in a pool of blood when he found her.

* * *

"_Where-where am I?" Saya asked as she arouse from the ground. All around her beautiful blue roses were abloom. Redundant, thorny vines of the blue roses veneered some willow trees and looked so natural with the surrounding life. The twilight sky so beautiful it nearly made Saya cry. Whatever this place was it was purely beautiful. But, it was so silent, so placid that Saya couldn't help but feel something was wrong. _

"_You're in my world, Saya," Carl said. He walked out from behind a willow tree. Saya looked up at him as if she was about to cry, but hate soon plagued her expression. She got up and ran; she had to run from him. _

_**He isn't real! I can't love him and I won't! This is all a nightmare!**_

_She shouted in her head, her thoughts echoed everywhere. She was still running though, tears trickling down her cheeks. Suddenly, she was pushed down to the ground; Carl was on top of her. Holding her down by her shoulders, his knees beside her hips, he looked at her obsessively._

"_There's no point in running or denying, Saya. You're in my world now and I know all that you think here. You can't hide from me, you can't run, and most importantly no one can save you," Carl said disdainfully, leaning into Saya's face and squeezing her shoulders so much tighter that crescent cuts were incised into her skin from his nails. _

_Saya whimpered in pain but she couldn't give in. _

_**Wait, pain? **_

_She realized that she wasn't dreaming anymore, had she finally assented to madness? Even if this was 'Carl's world' she had to escape._

"_I am the only one here with you, and you're the only one here with me. I'm in your head and you can't escape from what's real," he mocked. He relinquished his hold on one of her shoulders, caressing the left side of her face. Saya touched his face, he felt the same and so real. Saya's mouth opened a trifle in astonishment. No dream would ever feel so real._

"_I've missed you, Saya. I've missed every little aspect about you. And now, I can have you all to myself," he said. He leaned forward to kiss her but Saya denied and turned her head aside. _

"_There's no need to deny Saya. I can sense how much you've missed me. In this world no one can know about us. Look around," he said. He got off her and helped her up. Leading her through a labyrinth of willow trees and rose gardens._

"_No one is here but us. Now," he said. He grabbed her shoulders and pinned her to a tree. He smirked toothily and exhaled eagerly. As if the most pleasurable sensation had run deeper into his body and exploded. _

"_It begins. I want my revenge," he said. He kissed her; Saya's lips untensed and she embraced him. Her nails digging into his back as he clutched her shoulders harder, Saya moaned and squeaked. Carl would drive her crazy, until...she would stay with him, forever. _

_This was her retribution. But, as Carl parted the kiss the world seemed to fade._

* * *

Saya's eyes blinked opened and she saw the familiar faces around her. She blushed, remembering her 'dream.' 

"Saya, we have some bad news," Julia said softly. Saya looked up, Julia was so old now. Well, it has been over thirty years. Of course, she would've grown old.

"Wha-what happened?" Saya asked in a daze. Hagi helped her sit up, Saya felt hollow inside, physically hollow. Hagi held her hand; he looked much more sullen then usual.

"Saya, when Hagi brought you in, we did a scan. Your baby had died," Julia said. Her face plagued with a melancholy influence. Saya's eyes shot open, tears starting forming in Saya's eyes.

"Wha-what happened?" Saya asked, trying to suppress the sadness in her voice.

"We don't know. We had to remove it. We think it might be because of impurity. Normally, a Chevalier of your twin would've impregnated you. But, your Chevalier impregnated you. And I suppose, even with the fertility medication, it wasn't enough to cast out fetal impurity. I'm so sorry Saya," Julia said. Saya turned her head aside, trying to fight the tears.

"I-I want to talk to Solomon, alone," Saya said.

"If that is your wish then I will go fetch him for you," Hagi said. He and Julia left the room, Solomon entered a few minutes later. He sat down next to Saya on the bed.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," he said. Saya smiled and hugged him, and then she broke the embrace and smiled at him again.

"Arigatou, for your condolences," Saya said gratefully. Then, she just fell into Solomon's arms and wept like she never had before. When she was done Solomon offered a tissue and Saya wiped her nose. Leaving her tears to stain her face, Solomon cleaned them away. Saya smiled and thanked him before turning her mind to the other matter that concerned her.

"Solomon, have you seen Carl lately?" she asked.


	3. Welcome Back, I Offer You Pain

"Saya, why do you ask?" Solomon asked, taking her hands and looking at her concernedly. Saya turned her head aside for a moment and then looked back at him.

"Solomon, there is something you must promise me," Saya said. Solomon nodded his head.

"I can tell you cared about Carl more than anyone else did," Saya said, tears began to stream down her cheeks but her voice and expression remained the same.

"But, I still love him. Before I was here I was in my room, I felt Carl grab me and make me fade away with him. When I woke up I was in his world...and, I'm afraid. Be-because I want to go back," Saya confessed in a soft tone. Solomon looked at her both worriedly and shockingly.

Solomon had known of _Chevalier Worlds_ for many decades. When he had first died he had gone to his very own world, it was an afterlife reward for protecting their Queen. Unfortunately, for his act of perfidy, he was to remain their alone in his own rapture. Meaning, unlike Carl, he could not bring company there in their dreams.

And there were no dead Queens to invite there to live with him in the perpetual bliss. He was all alone.

The worst news were if Carl's influence over Saya grew strong enough...he could keep her there forever.

"Saya, perhaps it was just a nightmare," Solomon said, trying to protect Saya from the truth. Saya leaned her head back onto her pillow and sighed. Carl had been on her mind a lot lately; no doubt Carl wouldn't appear in her dreams.

"Maybe you're right. Perhaps, I just miss him," Saya said dubiously. Solomon nodded his head and stood up, ready to leave.

"Solomon, promise me that you won't tell anyone. This secret is only to stay between you and me," Saya said in a somewhat threatening tone. Solomon nodded head and left. Saya would need her rest.

Nonetheless, deep down, he didn't want Saya to sleep.

* * *

Saya was taken home in the morning; she didn't sleep the entire night she was at the hospital. She said she felt _uneasy and distressed_. But, when Saya plopped down on her bed after changing into her nightgown she couldn't help but close her eyes. 

_**One minute won't hurt. I am recovering aren't I? I need my rest; just one minute won't hurt...**_

_She shut her eyes and exhaled blissfully. When Saya's eyes opened she wasn't in her world. She knew she was in Carl's world. She sat up on her side, her arms supporting her and they crossed under her. Her legs over one another and still. _

"_Good, you're back," Carl said. He walked up to her and helped her up. He took her hand and smiled softly._

"_Come, there is someone I want to show you," he said. He pulled her gently through a labyrinth of willow trees and roses. _

"_Carl, where are we going?" Saya asked. He didn't answer, but they soon came to an open clearing. A girl with black hair sat on the ground with her back turned to them. She was humming a song, an Opera. She was plucking the petals from a blue rose and they fell carelessly onto her black kimono. Before her sitting form laid an old fashion journal that she had been writing in._

_The ink was crimson, was it blood she was writing with?_

"_Diva, come here," Carl called._

_**Diva?**_

_The girl stood up and turned around. Saya's eyes widened and her face stifled her expressional sadness and joy._

_The girl looked so much like Carl. Yes, a thin feminine figure but her face was just so resembling to Carl's it was astounding. And her eyes just as deep as Carl's, and the same color, Saya wanted to cry. _

_The girl, this was Diva, her daughter. Diva walked up to Carl and smiled._

"_Diva, there is someone I want you to meet," Carl said. He gestured his hand to Saya and Diva gasped softly. _

"_Carl is this...is this...Oh she's so beautiful!" Saya wept happily. Diva and Saya embraced each other and cried. Diva, nor Saya, had ever seen each other. Diva was taken away when she was born and rescued by Red Shield. While Saya, her mother, stayed behind to fight Phantom. She and Phantom where thought to be dead after that night. And ever since that night Diva had always wondered what her mother was like. But, she never got to meet her mother, only her father. _

_Saya looked at Carl and smiled, hugging her daughter._

"_Arigatou, Carl," she mouthed. She would've never thought that she would be thanking him for the painful joy he caused her. After a few minutes Carl took Saya's hand and led her away from Diva. Diva stayed behind obediently and walked back to the middle of the clearing._

"_I don't understand," Saya said softly. Carl grabbed her wrists and pulled her near. _

"_This is my world, and I want my revenge. Saya, if I can't have you in the mortal realm then I will love you here. Saya, won't you stay here with me?" he asked her, almost sensitively. Saya's eyes widened and then she backed away, jerking her wrists away from Carl's grasp.  
_

"_Carl...I killed you because I hate you. NO! I won't!" Saya cried and then ran. But, once again, Carl pushed her to the ground, coming on top of her. They were surrounded by a field of blue roses, willow trees lost in sight. Carl's world was beautiful, but now the sky's grew gray and sullen. Was Carl's mood affecting the environment? _

**_This is his world and I can never escape. There's no point in running or denying, he'll do with me what he wishes. But, I must fight, I must go back to Hagi! I must protect the people I love!  
_**

_No one could see them, leaves and lost blue petal brushed up against Saya's skin as a chilly breeze passed._

"_You love me, Saya. Confess it! You always have and you always will! You declared it the night you killed me! And I forgive you," Carl said disdainfully. Saya closed her eyes, remembering her pleas of forgiveness. Carl took a hold of her wrists, holding them down beside her head. Saya's hair fanned about the ground.  
_

_ Carl had adjusted his position on her. He crawled onto her, resting his weight on her and holding her. Saya's eyes widened in confusion, a red streak reddened her face. Carl's face was near hers, their noses touching._

"_Because, now, no one can take you away from me," he whispered. Carl kissed her lips softly, Saya's eyes closed. She moaned blissfully and let Carl gain access to her mouth. For a brief moment she remembered when they were lovers, and Saya wanted that more than ever now. Deep down she still loved him and the pleasurable pain known as** 'love.' **  
_

_But then she pulled her mouth away and turned her head aside._

"_No, what would Hagi say?" Saya asked. Carl chuckled._

"_I want revenge, oh how is your baby doing?" he asked contemptuously. Saya's eyes widened in realization of what Carl had done. The pain when she first entered this place, it was in her womb._

"_You bastard! You killed my baby! The last one!" Saya cried. Carl released one of her wrists after breaking it, but it would heal. Carl caressed her face with his fingers, both his hands were human looking now. Saya remembered how she used to fear his hands, and yet love them. Love the way he used to touch her with them and hold her. It felt so right back then, and somehow subtly hollow. Carl chuckled and grinned evilly as he took a hold of her wrist again.  
_

"_Saya, out of all the people I have brought here you should know that when you are being physically connected to this place there is a negative outcome on the body. Your baby had died. But, I don't believe that it was a wrong idea. You and your Chevalier weren't meant to have babies together. Only you and I, after all, has my seed not been in your womb before?" he asked teasingly. Saya blushed softly, recalling their lovemaking. How could she ever forget those nights? Including that one night she vaguely but understandably remembered. The night he raped her.  
_

_**Our love was a mistake and nothing more...But it felt so right**. **No! I must resist!**  
_

"_You bastard!" Saya cried. Carl smiled toothily and then his mouth shut. He planted tender kisses on her neck, Saya squeaked, trying to escape but she couldn't. Even if she were to run Carl would easily find her. There was no chance in running, and if she attempted Carl would know. And while, a part of her didn't want Carl to caress/ grope her, a part of her liked it and wanted it. Like the darkness in her was growing accustomed to painful love he inflicted on her.  
_

"_Isn't this a lovely place? Remember our first time together? It was in a cold place but it was enjoyable all the same. When I heard you scream I just had to give you more!" he said evilly and somewhat happily._

"_I was screaming for you to stop you pervert! Now get off me!" Saya yelled angrily. Carl chuckled and caressed her jaw with soft kisses. Saya's legs wriggling as he pulled at her nightgown, releasing her wrists. Saya's nails dug into his back, making him bleed, Carl liked it. Saya's eyes glowing crimson by the scent of his blood, the sweet taste of it in her mouth. Saya shut her eyes tightly, her eyes quivering. Carl kissed her trembling eyelids, once again, his seductive words and body getting to Saya.  
_

"_You're so beautiful when you deny me. But, that won't stop me. It never has stopped me," he kissed lips her again, this time harder. When he finished his lips moved down to Saya's neck, a part where she was most ticklish. Always, when Carl kissed the nape of her neck, Saya would giggle and ask him to stop. Now, she just wanted to deny him if she had the slightest chance. _

_But, that's what Carl wanted. He wanted Saya to tell him to stop and to fight him. It only aroused his passion more into his body.  
_

"_Now relax, Saya, we're the only ones here now. Stay with me for a while, be one with me. No one has to know but us, this is a world all our own!" Carl said lovingly, planting tender kisses on her neck. Biting her neck in the most playful manner, he moved to the collar bone. The small cuts on her neck began to heal, Carl was drinking her blood. Or at least licking away small droplets that dripped down from the cuts.  
_

"_Ca-Carl..." Saya whispered. _

"_I want to wake up now, please, let me wake up," Saya said. Carl ceased his caresses and looked at Saya. Saya had woken up before when she last came here. But, it was not of her will, she could feel Carl relinquish his mental grasp on her and free her. But now, Carl wouldn't let her go, she was damned to him until he would finish. _

"_Never, Saya. I will never let you go again. In this world you will be mine and only mine! You are my blood bound bride!" he said in an almost threatening tone. Saya looked at him piteously, Carl frowned. Then, his expression loosened to display hurt and somewhat betrayal. He realized that Saya was not fully awake yet, and with an incomplete Saya he had no reason to have her until she was mad with passion.  
_

"_My Saya, you're-you're not fully awake yet? You can't fight me any better without remembering the rest by memories, can you Saya?" he asked. He got off her and stood up, turning his back to her._

"_Then I'll take you there, I'll take you back the pain. I want my revenge," he said. He pulled her up by her wrists, bruising Saya's wrists. Saya squeaked._

"_And you will love me, by means of pain," he said. He sounded almost sad. He had loved her when she wasn't awake; then again, he needed her. She was leverage and Carl needed her trust. There were always reasons why he did what he did. Carl pulled her into an embrace, his chest tensing with sadness, Saya could feel it.  
_

"_But for now Saya, wake up. Go back to your mortal world. I'll be waiting, and when I bring you back prepare yourself for the worst." he threatened, letting Saya slip away back into reality. _


	4. What I Truly Want, Madness

Saya almost shot up after being released from Carl's world. She hastily felt at her neck, the cuts were gone. She hugged her knees and wept. She used to be so happy with Carl, but sadly, it was all one lie. One lie mixed together with mere pawns and Saya was the most credulous.

_This is a world all our own, Saya_

_No one has to know but us_

_I love you and I want my revenge _

Saya grabbed her head and pushed down hard on her temples. The thoughts, pain, and memories, the scent of his blood coming so quickly to her she could feel his cold blood slowly run warm through her veins. That thrilled depraved smirk flashed through her head slowly and froze on an image of which she could not decipher with apprehension.

"_Dance. Dance. For me!" he orders as he throws his demonic arm at her. His claws gashing deep cuts in her face and body, it hurts so much. She screams and screams but there's so much pain in her mind. In her mind all she feels is pain and it creeps into her flesh. Her senses go haywire and everything is amplified tenfold for the moment. It seems in slow motion for the moment as she panted. Her sword in her hand deftly being motioned to strike him, she must kill him. _

_He looks at her and gasps somewhat before she prepares to strike. She lets out a yell of distress and anger but is interrupted by his quick reflexes. He grabs her sword and hands, pulling her down. He grabs her chin, pulling her face near his and he examines her eyes motionlessly. Their faces are so close now that she could smell the blood of all he's killed. Her eyes glowing with a crimson malice and something else she didn't want to know of. Her face displaying helplessness and fear, she doesn't want to fight._

"_Saya, you haven't completely woken up yet, have you Saya?" he asked. Her eyes losing their malicious luster and to fading to a cinnamon brown, her enemy is so hurt now. _

Saya's memories faded and she was once again staring down at her legs and hands. Solomon and Hagi walked in, Saya demanded that she sleep alone when she came home.

"Are you alright Saya?" Solomon asked. Saya looked up at him and then looked away. She was so distracted by her 'dreams' and memories. Carl was killing her; tearing her soul apart piece by piece, groping around in her emptiness for her heart. Once he had her heart he would burn out all love she felt and she would be nothing but a living hollow with nothing left to love. Only to be filled by pain and obligation, never to smile or feel compassion for anything again.

That is exactly what Carl wanted.

"I'm fine," she lied, trying to abate the sadness in her voice.

"I-I just remembered something, I-I don't want to talk about it," Saya said. Kai entered, the door was open.

"Lunch is ready, Saya. How are you feeling?" Kai asked. Saya didn't look at him. It hurt too much to know that if Carl succeeded she could never love anyone. In her mind, in order to fight Carl, she would have to become numb. To not feel or think, or else Carl would find her weaknesses and strike her down.

"Saya, are you alright?" Kai asked.

"I'm fine, I'll be down in a few minutes," Saya said coldly. Kai walked out. Hagi and Solomon left, giving Saya some privacy. Saya stood up from her bed and walked over to the full-length mirror she had. Her eyes examined her figure and then her face. She looked much paler than usual, probably perhaps from all the stress. She closed her eyes, a few tears raining from them.

_Why would Carl want me? I am not beautiful or useful to him in any way. Can't he just leave me alone?!_

Suddenly, she felt familiar arms wrap around her torso. One arm moved upward, its elbow resting on her shoulder and hand around her neck gently.

_**Why would you say you are not beautiful?**_

_Carl! What the hell are you doing here?_

Saya's eyes shot open and she looked in the mirror. Carl was there behind her, holding her. She swiveled her head, Carl wasn't there but when she looked in the mirror he was there.

_How can this be?  
_

_**I am in your head Saya; my physical body was badly damaged. Remember!**_

_Aren't you supposed to be preparing my worst visit?! Now let go of me!_

_**Oh, come now Saya. I felt you remember that night at Lycee de Cinq Fleche. You looked so appetizing in that dress and so pretty covered in your own blood. I just had to come and comfort you, if I didn't that would make me a terrible lover. **_

_Sick demented bastard!_

Carl's lips moved to her the space between the nape of her neck and front. He grinned evilly, holding Saya tighter so she wouldn't struggle. Saya squeaked.

_**Don't be afraid, Saya. It's a love bite, now; give me the sweet nectar that connects me to your broken heart. I will ease the pain to cause you more! I know you want it!  
**_

He bit down gently; Saya stood still and looked in the mirror. Small droplets of blood trickled down her chest, soaking into her gown. When Carl finished he removed his fangs from her neck, nuzzling his cheek against hers.

_You got what you came for now leave!_

_**No, not just yet.**_

_Why, I serve no meaning to you._

_**That's not true Saya. Don't I comfort you?**_

Saya didn't answer, Carl chuckled. He caressed her neck with his finger for a few moments of silence. Then, he moved his mouth next to her ear and grinned evilly, preparing to speak.

_**You like it when I hurt you, Saya. It takes your mind off how much you love me and how much you want to be with me. If I didn't attempt to make love to you that night you would've never had the courage to kill me! I can taste your weakness in your blood, you pathetic beautiful creature.  
**_

_No! I don't! I will kill you because my hate is all I have left for you! I am not weak!  
_

_**Say you want me to hurt you until I make you scream for mercy.  
**_

_No!_

_**Say it!**_

_Yes, I want you to hurt me! I want you to make me hate you! I want you to make me kill you so I can love you and hate myself for it! Please, beat me, bleed me, and make me beg for mercy! I want to fight you until I nothing left in my heart for you! I want you to be beat me until all I can think about is destroying you for love's sake! Until, I have nothing left to anticipate but fighting you!  
_

Saya's closed her eyes and titled her head toward the ground. Tears fell from her eyes, her body trembling with anger and relief. Carl chuckled, it felt so good to hear Saya say she wanted him to hound her. Her screams and pleas would be much more blissful than anything else having to do with their love.

_**Soon, Saya, our love will begin with the blood of the innocent.**_

He vanished, leaving Saya to weep alone. When her eyes opened her neck was clean and there was no blood. Was it all in her head?


	5. The Pain, Oh How I Want It

Saya did not sleep that night; she didn't sleep the next night, or the nights following that. Weeks passed, everyone grew worried. When Saya was asked why she wasn't sleeping she didn't answer. One night, Kai walked up to her room and told her he had an extra concert tickets.

His plan was to get Saya drunk so she'd fall asleep.

"What's the band?" Saya asked grumpily. She stretched out and positioned herself down on the bed. But, she shot up and stretched again. Her body ached from not sleeping, and her eyes dry and bloodshot from lack of sleep.

"You're favorite, Evanescence," Kai said. Saya looked up and nodded her head. Perhaps, an adrenaline rush would take her mind off Carl. Kai left and Solomon entered, looking worried. Saya stood up, pulling her black jacket over her body. Her taste in clothes had changed; she wore black pants and boots, a pink tank top with a cut-net over shirt. She kind of looked gothic, but Saya always liked the color black and pink.

"Saya, it's been three weeks since you last slept. Perhaps, it is time to tell the others?" Solomon asked.

"No!" Saya snapped.

"They can never know!" Saya said. She turned her back to him. She held her arms at her sides, her hands trembling as they balled into fists. She began to weep.

"I love Carl, my heart aches from him and I can feel it hollowing. I-I don't want to go back to him in my dreams, and if he comes here then I must run. I mustn't be afraid...and I can't give in. I love Carl, and I will do anything to distance myself from him no matter how poignant his influence is on me," Saya wept. A few moments following that she turned around and pushed Solomon roughly out of the way. But, she stood still in the doorway, her hand sliding up one of its sides.

"Please, forget this. Forget everything I told you," she whispered and then left with Kai.

* * *

-Concert- 

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you_

_Fifty thousand tears I cried_

_Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you_

_And you still won't hear me_

_(Going under)_

_Don't want your hand this time_

_I'll save myself_

_Maybe I'll wake up for once_

_(Wake up for once)_

_Not tormented daily_

_Defeated by you_

_Just when I thought I reached the bottom_

_I'm dying again_

Saya was bumped into by a man, when she turned around to say _excuse me _she was knocked into furiously and her head came in contact with the ground. She tried to get up but her body was so weak now, her eyes closed, blood pooling beneath her head. A blurred slit of reality was the last she could perceive.

"Forgive me..." she whispered.

_Saya's head ached, but her body coursed with energy and all kinds of emotions. Was Carl doing this to her?_

_Anger, sadness, betrayal, lust...the emotions inexorably flowed into her body. She stood up; a sword was feebly held in her hand. Her clothes had been changed to a bloodstained dress that went above her knees. Her shoes gone, she could feel the prolific land of Carl's World. The sky lit by the moon and dim crimson stars. She lifted the sword to see her reflection, the blade shimmered silver. Her eyes almost shimmered as if they were the metallic surface of her blade. _

"_Saya! I've been waiting for so long! I'll give you back your pain...I will give you my love!" Carl shouted. Saya turned around, eyes glowing crimson. Carl was in his true form. Saya yelled in anger and lifted her sword over her head. Carl kicked her to the ground, her ribs CRACK! She coughed up blood and tried to get up but it hurt too much.  
_

_She screamed in pain, her dress sodden with blood. Carl crawled onto her, pushing her down and biting into her neck roughly. Saya screamed again and sliced her sword into his stomach, kicking him off. She stood up, looking at her bruised limbs, her body aching. Carl and Saya looked at each other._

"_I want you to remember this night. We are mad with passion!" Carl said with envious passion. Saya charged at him, her sword pointed forward to strike him. But Carl flew up into the air and behind her. Saya turned around and stepped back hastily. She held her sword in front of her, the blade trembling. She leered at him with malice-engulfed eyes...Malice and passion; passion to kill him to love him.  
_

"_Yes! Like that! You and I will dance tonight; your hate will only prove you love me!" Carl mocked. Saya ran at him and yelled angrily. Carl grabbed both her arms and broke them, throwing Saya into the air and across the field. The fight continued for hours, finally as Saya stood a few feet from him; covered in her blood and every part of her sore from being wounded, she fell to the ground. _

_Carl's true form abated into himself and he walked over to Saya. His clothes in shreds from his transformation, he walked over to Saya and lay next to her. Saya lied on the ground panting and trembling in anger. Saya turned over and clawed at him feebly. Carl pinned her to the ground and smiled. _

"_That's enough Saya; you've showed me that you are too weak to fight your love for me. I want to give you more pain, if that is your wish to love me," Carl mocked. He kissed her, tasting her blood. She feebly pushed him away and weakly crawling along the ground. She had to get away, but she was so tired. So weak and emotionally hurt. She shut her eyes and fell into a trance where she could not dream. _

_Carl stroked the blood-tangled strands of hair away from her face and smiled in contentment._

_"Pathetic creature, you'll soon realize that you cannot escape me unless I sanction it. And I will never let that happen." he mocked.  
_


	6. Shadows Are the Ghosts of Love

"I don't understand; Saya's wound is healed. Why won't Saya wake up? It looks as if she's comatose," Kai told Julia.

"You forget, she hasn't slept for three weeks, perhaps she will wake up when her body feels her strength has been compensated. Her wound took a long time to heal because of her lack of sleep, she also skipped her blood-transfusion appointments," Julia said and then she turned to Solomon and Hagi.

"Solomon, Hagi, did Saya mention anything that might be troubling her? Is she still grieving over Carl or any other past events?" Julia asked. Solomon felt ashamed at himself; he knew that he could not tell them. It was Saya's wish that he'd never speak of what she told him, or rather, confessed to him. Nonetheless, he would have to tell, for Saya's sake.

Who knew what Carl was doing to Saya in her dreams now? Whatever he was doing to her it disturbed Solomon's mind greatly.

"Yes, she told me that Carl started coming to her in her dreams a few weeks back," Solomon started, the room went dead silent_  
_

* * *

_Saya didn't know when she woke up, but the sun was sinking down toward the horizon. The sun was setting, how long had she been here? Whenever she went to sleep at night she'd stay in this world for only a few minutes and awake when hours passed in the mortal world. She averaged about eight hours of sleep, which kept her here for about half of an hour. All she knew was that now she was awake and alive in this world, every minute she'd feel more alive in this world. Especially when she and Carl fought. She was unknowingly sharing her body with the someone who created this world. The person that was originally the only real thing in this world, maybe, she now, too, was real in this world. _

_Why else would the pain and pleasure feel so real to her?_

_No! She couldn't stay in this world. She had a lover, a family, and friends. She fell to her knees and cried, throwing her sword into the air and it sliced into the ground by the tip. She screamed into the sky, the blood on her skin glistening as the sunlight hit her form._

"_Mother, why are you crying?" Diva asked as she walked out from behind one of the willow trees. Saya looked at her and Phantom's daughter and then turned her head away. _

"_Why are you covered in blood? Were you having a nightmare before you came here? Were you dreaming of Vietnam? Father told me that that was the place where he fell in love with you," Diva said, she sounded so innocent and somewhat perplexed, as if her memory had been wiped of all its sorrow and deception._

"_Y-yes," Saya lied, she didn't want to hurt her daughter by saying Carl did this to her. Then again, she wanted it so much. _

"_Would you like me to take you to the house? To shower?" Diva asked. Saya nodded her head and Diva walked toward her. _

"_Is-is Carl there?" Saya asked as Diva helped her stand up._

"_Depends," Diva said. Diva brought Saya to a large mansion that was hidden behind the hills where the sky lining always looked crimson along its steep. Diva gave her a black kimono to wear and showed her Carl's chambers where the master bathroom was. After a long wash of scrubbing her skin and hair clean she dressed herself and left after thanking her daughter. _

_She walked through the labyrinth of willow trees again, looking for a way to escape. She spotted her sword and grabbed the hilt; it shook as she endeavored to pull it from the ground. But, it was wedged deep into the ground as if it was Excalibur. _

"_It won't budge, not until I tell the earth to let it go," Carl said as he appeared beside a willow tree. Saya looked at him angrily, wanting to kill him._

"_You bastard, what did you do?" Saya asked angrily. Carl chuckled and walked up to her, grasping her shoulders and leaning into her face._

"_Nothing that you didn't want me to do, remember? If I recall correctly you asked me to beat you? Or, was that just a dream?" Carl asked as he set his hands on her face._

"_I thought so," he said, and then he leaned in to kiss her but Saya started to speak._

"_I want to go home," Saya said. Carl chuckled and smirked._

"_This is your home now, my bed is where you belong," he mocked. Saya pushed him away but he grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss. Saya broke the kiss by kicking him in the stomach, though she attempted to kick him in the groin. But, it worked all the same. _

"_Never again! No matter how much you say I am your lover I will never love you again! I can't and I won't!" she cried and then ran off through the trees. She was panting and screaming allowed her false alleges. _

"_I don't love you! I will never love you! I must fight you!" and finally she collapsed to her knees and wept. Her hands grasping the ground beneath her and her body trembling, Saya was fighting herself. _

"_I can't love you-I won't. I...I must kill you. I-I don't love you-I will never-I will never..." she couldn't finish, she had to cry. She felt Carl near her and sit down next to her. He brushed her hair away and wiped her tears away, Saya looked at him miserably. Carl was smiling softly, he cupped her face. Saya's tears were beautiful and filled with deception and denial.  
_

"_Saya, if you want me to hurt you then I will, it will take away your pain. You get just as much pleasure out of it as I do, we are mad with passion to love and hate each other. And until we go mad all I want is for you to stay with me. Why can't you just accept that you are my bride?! By blood and relation, remember? You are both my enemy and my lover by blood bonds," Carl said. Saya pushed him away and turned aside, wanting to run but Carl grabbed her arm. Saya squeaked and then she started to speak. _

"_I can't accept it because in the past you killed! You killed innocent women and children! You tried to kill the people I love and took part in Riku's rape and assassination. You tried to kill me, you beat me, and you raped me..." she gasped into tears for a moment and then stifled them. She turned to him, beginning to tremble but her voice was still bold.  
_

_"How can I ever face my heart while knowing that?! How can I ever forgive you when I know the truth now? Even without all my memories I'm awake and I don't need to be awake to tell you I don't love you anymore!" Saya cried. She closed her eyes and struggled to hold back the tears. Carl released her arm and Saya's arm immediately covered her eyes. The tears streaming down her face and dripping off her chin. Carl sat there shocked, and then he chuckled and pulled Saya into an embrace._

"_And yet, you love me? Saya, am I the one who is truly hurting you? Weren't you much happier with the lies? My blissful dark angel, love is a shadow, it can be hidden, nevertheless, it's always there," he said, he pushed Saya back from the embrace a little and looked into her eyes._

"_And, no matter how many times you try to rid yourself of me, I will always be your shadow." he promised._

_Their faces neared and their lips touched softly, tears streaming from Saya's eyes as he kissed her._

_It was wrong, but it felt so right. _


	7. Dry Your Eyes and Get Over It

_**Songfic Chapter, Evanescence songs seem to fit in more with Carl and Saya than Disturbed.**_

_**Saya's thought on Carl or random subject**_

_**Carl's thoughts on Saya**_

* * *

"_How can you say do not love me anymore?" Carl teased as he parted the kiss, his hands traveled to Saya's face. Saya's didn't answer, instead, she shut her eyes and tried her best not to weep. _

"_My Saya, beautiful Saya. I am your shadow, I will always be there. Hidden if I must be, but I am always there," he said as he leaned into her face to kiss her, his eyes glowing crimson.  
_

_**It's true,**_

_**We're all a little insane**_

_**But it's so clear**_

_**Now that I'm unchained**_

"_You're so beautiful when you cry by means of me. Cry for me until you want to love me again," Carl mocked, kissing her roughly. Saya squeaked in fear and tried to push him away but it was no use. She knew that her fear was just an emotion but it was just so effective._

"_You'll be mine," he teased, his lips moving down to where the neck met the head. _

_**Fear is only in our minds**_

_**Taking over all the time**_

_**Fear is only in our minds**_

_**But it's taking over all the time**_

"_My Saya, you're shaking like when we first made love. Why so afraid? Haven't I been gentle?" Carl asked contemptuously. Saya kicked him in the stomach (once again narrowly missing her target, the groin) and pushed him away. _

"_No, you're never gentle! I don't want you! Now, let me go home to my true lover!" Saya yelled. She tried to run but Carl grabbed her ankles and she plopped onto the ground. Carl could hear her weeping and he smirked. _

_**You poor sweet innocent thing**_

_**Dry your eyes and testify**_

_**You know you live to break me**_

_**Don't deny**_

_Carl rolled Saya over and crawled onto her. _

"_I can't let that happen. You're mine and no one can save you. And when you're fully awake and I make you kill all you love. Only then will Diva and I be your only true family. I can't wait to see you drink your brother's blood and everyone else's," Carl mocked._

_"__So, this is your revenge? I will banish my love for you and never think of you again! Maybe then, you'll leave me alone and learn that no one will ever love you!" Saya asked both angrily and hurtfully. _

_**Sweet sacrifice**_

_**One day**_

_**I'm gonna forget your name**_

_**And one sweet day you're gonna drown in my lost pain**_

_Carl chuckled and kissed her neck, soon biting deep into a vein. Saya squeaked in fear and wriggled, but Carl had her pinned down. He drank for a minute and then looked into Saya's eyes._

"_Why, you're afraid?" he kissed her face, tasting her tears and everything that came with them; repentance, sorrow, betrayal, and fear. He chuckled and kissed Saya's trembling eyelids, she had closed her eyes. Then, he kissed her along the lining of her jaw and then moved back up to her lips.  
_

_**Fear is only in our minds**_

_**Taking over all the time**_

_**Fear is only in our minds**_

_**But it's taking over all the time**_

_Saya looked so innocent to him, and how much fun it was to make her suffer. Before, in his previous life, he wanted to kill Saya to make her suffer. But, making her suffer and letting her live to grieve was much more amusing._

"_Your tears are so beautiful. I insist that you cry more and I shall give more," Carl threatened teasingly, caressing her neck with kisses. Saya tried to kick him again but it didn't work, his legs had her legs down and spread apart. _

_**You poor sweet innocent thing**_

_**Dry your eyes and testify**_

_**And oh you love to hate me**_

_**Don't you honey?**_

_Carl didn't force her be with him, but when he finished his caressing he got off her and smiled. _

"_Honestly Saya, you're much more fun to play with when you're fully awake. Like last night, our personal reenactment of Vietnam, I could smell the lack of full control on you. That was quite a performance. Look how pitiful you are now, you haven't the courage to even kill me yet," he mocked, and then there was complete silence. Saya dried her eyes and lunged at him._

_**I'm your sacrifice**_

_**I dream in the darkness**_

_**I sleep to die**_

_**Erase the silence **_

_Carl chuckled as Saya pinned him to a tree._

"_You bastard! Haven't you caused me enough pain?! Is there something you haven't already stolen from me?!" Saya yelled in anger and sadness. Carl grabbed her shoulders and threw her against another willow tree. Saya's back hit it with a loud CRACK and then her back slid down the tree and her eyes shut. She coughed up some blood, Carl had broken her ribs but they would heal in a minute or so.  
_

_**Erase my life **_

_**(Our burning ashes)**_

_**Do you wonder why you hate? **_

_**(Blacken the day)**_

_ "You're stubborn, I've taken everything from you and now as a compensation I'll give you pain to make you see that nothing can make you deny your love for me," Carl mocked angrily and looked at Saya wryly. Saya hands clutched her ribcage as she moaned in agony. She attempted to speak but the pain in her torso was too great. She remembered the promise she made with Carl. That if there was nothing left for them that'd he drain her of all her blood so she'd die, and then he would die. _

_How she wished he had kept that promise, maybe then such pain wouldn't exist in her mind and body. Maybe then, she could leave the truth behind and forget all she recalled from her natural instincts and memories.  
_

_**Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?**_

_**(A world of nothingness) **_

_**(Blow me away)**_

_**You poor sweet innocent thing**_

_Carl pulled her up against the tree by her left wrist and twisted it beside her head. Saya screamed in pain, her chest ached from doing so. More blood leaked from her mouth and she shut her eyes in pain._

_"You're too pathetic to face your love for me! Maybe I should beat some sense into you. Will pain make you remember or fight?!" Carl asked in an infuriated tone and broke her wrist. Saya screamed in pain and Carl left her and walked away. Saya fell to the ground, grabbing her hand and holding her arms against her stomach. She looked at Carl and then her eyes closed, her head titled toward the ground  
_

_"Our love was a mistake..." she whimpered. Her love starting to drain and fading away into her heart, which became so profound she felt it hollow with envy.  
_

_**Dry your eyes and testify**_

**_You know you live to break me_**

_**Don't deny**_

_**Sweet sacrifice **_


	8. Monsters Love For Evermore

_Running, that was all Saya was doing. She was running, she didn't know from what and the pain in her ribs told her to stop. However, she didn't stop running. She kept running, what was she running from? Carl, no, deep down she felt like she was running from herself. Running away from her heart so she was nothing and would feel nothing. That wasn't impossible though, the memories she recalled from her rape made her feel hollow and dirty. _

_Nonetheless, she would not go back to Carl. Never, if Carl were to come and get her, she'd let him do what he wishes and then run more. She'd let him hollow her until she was nothing, until she wanted to die. Until she could see her reflection in a crimson pool beneath, her petite body in Carl's arms saying piteously that she wants to die._

_Death, would be the only option to escape him. Unless, she could kill him. But, was that possible?_

* * *

"What?!"Kai shouted at Solomon. 

"You knew all this time and never told us?! Carl could be emotionally hurting her, beating her, and worst of all, raping her! Do you know what could happen to Saya?!" Kai shouted and shook Solomon fiercely, Kai was in rather good shape for a man in his fifties and looked a few years younger than his true age. Solomon softly removed Kai's hands from his shirt collar and looked at him.

"Saya told me never to tell, as her Chevalier I am bound to her wishes. But, as her Chevalier, I must make sure she is well. And, until now, I have kept that secret by Saya's will to live. Only to break it keep her safe," Solomon said.

"Wha-what do we do then?" Getsuei asked, stroking Saya's hair away from her relaxed and expressionless face. Not even her eyes quivered, her breathing was silent, and her body still. She was weak and no longer on Earth.

"We monitor her sleep and then we wait, there isn't much we can do," Julia said sadly

* * *

_**K****eep running, keeping running until your breath and heart go numb...Until you don't feel pain so you can die without him in your heart!**_

_A force jerked her back, a grasping pressure came over her shoulders and pulled her. The world was in slow motion for a minute, everything blurry and her heart pounding so loud she couldn't tell if she screamed or not. But, when the edge of her shriek came she heard it and Carl was before her, pushing her against a tree and smirking._

_"Running, is that all you ever do? You run from Hagi, your family, and everyone else. Even me, the only one who can love you and have had children with," Carl mocked. Saya's eyes suddenly widened a trifle, trembling with shock and confusion._

_"Children?" Saya asked. Saya had almost forgotten about the child that Carl killed, and their daughter, Diva, whom he also killed (but miraculously brought to his world), and...and she knew there was another. She once recalled a terrible pain in her womb, like a sharp metallic blade had been sliced through. Had she...what has done to her own children? Was she just as worthy to blame as Carl?_

_Carl lifted one hand from her shoulders and set it on Saya's face._

_"Don't tell me you have forgotten what was only a small while back? Even though you are not fully awake yet I'd still like to try. If you want children I can make it possible in this world," Carl teased, caressing her cheekbone with his thumb. _

_"No! My womb is dead! I was going to give birth to a beautiful baby girl if your hadn't killed her! Why would I want a piece of you inside me?! Haven't you grown weary of me? Is there something that you haven't stolen?! Take it and leave me be!" Saya screamed at the top of her lungs. Carl chuckled and leaned into her face, his other hand coming to her face. _

_"Don't you remember that night? The night you killed one of our babies just to protect your worthless Chevalier?" Carl asked disdainfully, Saya didn't respond._

_ "Remember?!" Carl said aggressively. Glimpses of that night passed through her head**  
**_

_** There is blood beneath her, Carl pulled the blade from her stomach and held her; caressing her. Sadness and pity in his eyes, Saya had never seen such emotions in his eyes. He told her she was foolish and that he'd never leave...He kept his vow.** _

_"I-I..."Saya began to say but couldn't finish. Carl chuckled; seeing the fear, will, and affliction reflected in Saya's eyes was absolutely wonderful. Watching his Saya wake up was very pleasant to witness. For instance, that night at the Cinq Fleche Experimentation Farm, Saya gave in to her innate madness and awoke. He was so excited, he was seeing the Saya he loved. The one whom he had loved since the moment he saw her. But, that was so long ago, even if Saya wasn't awake he had to have her with him. That'd way, when she'd fully awaken, she'd belong to him and only him. _

_"Yes, that's it, Saya. Don't you remember what I told you?" Carl mocked._

_**Foolish girl. As long as I am here, and as long as you bear my children, I cannot allow your demise.**_

_Saya screamed and grabbed her head, Carl backed away in a disdainful manner and let Saya fall to her knees. She whimpered and wept. She had killed her own child, a child of her and Carl's own flesh and blood. She couldn't remember if she meant to or not but it hurt all the same._

_"You're a monster like I am. You are a Chiropteran, destine to kill and hate. No matter how many times you wish to believe that a part of you is human, you are not. You may look human in appearance but inside you're nothing but pure bloodthirsty instinct, pain, hatred, and sadness. Seeing that is the case," Carl said. He walked up to her and cupped her chin, pulling her head up to stare into his face._

_"Why not give in, Saya? You were not meant to live in a mortal world. We're different, we're killers; we are compatible. And yet, you insist that you are somehow mortal, despite that everything about you turns your false humanity away. Saya, you have no choice but to live as the monster you are. I'd like you to be the monster next to me, Saya, won't you stay here with me?" Carl asked, leaning into her face to kiss her. Saya pushed him away and growled.  
_

_"Fight me and love me all you want, Saya. Enjoy it, savor it, show me that instinct that proves you're a monster!" Carl mocked._

_"Stop..." Saya whispered angrily, clutching her head and trembling._

_"Just...STOP!" Saya screamed into the sky. Carl pulled her up into his arms and kissed her; Saya eyes shooting open and then closing, a single tear falling from her eyes._

_"I will never stop..." Carl whispered, his lips moving to her cheekbone. He breathed into her ear and chuckled. Oh, how he loved to break her and make her live to suffer. He heard Saya whimper and he chuckled in amusement._

_"You want more, and I shall give you more. Scream," he mocked, his tongue traveling over her neck, tasting her skin. He sucked at a vein, tasting her blood. Finally, when Saya couldn't take it anymore she pushed him aside and bit him. Saya was drinking his blood, she would drink all of it. However, after a few mouth fulls of the crimson nectar Carl pushed her away and picked her up. Saya punched kicked and screamed but Carl kept her in his arms._

_"You would like to kill me, wouldn't you?" he said, setting her down on the ground. They were amid a valley of blue roses. Saya didn't answer, she turned her head aside. Carl moved closer to her and crawled onto her, he wasn't on top of her yet but he was hovering over body like he hadn't been more satisfied with her in his entire life._

_"Too bad, this is my world and no one can save you," he said, his lips nearing Saya mouth. Saya moved her head back and attempted to kick him in the stomach. But, Carl was astute and grabbed her knee, forcing her leg down. _

_"You'll mine to love and torture forever!" Carl exulted evilly. Saya squirmed away from him and ran, only knowing that if Carl could not die than she would have to die.  
_

* * *


	9. Love and Revenge

_Saya looked down at the crimson ocean beneath her; she stood just at the edge of a cliff. If she were to jump, despite how much of a Chiropteran she was, she would easily hit the jagged rocks and die. But, no, that tactic would be too fast. She wanted to die in the slowest and most painful way. A way that would bleed her of all pain and bring her relief. She wanted to bleed to death._

_That was her choice; she would stab herself directly in the heart. If the blade stayed in long enough the blood circulation would cease and she would die._

_She had to die, to save herself and the people she loved. Carl could control her, use her, and bring other people she loved here. She most definitely didn't want that for Hagi, or anyone else she loved. She ran back to place where her sword stood wedged into the earth. Soon enough she arrived and grasped her sword's hilt, pulling and pulling upwards. Astoundingly she managed to, only to find Carl standing a mere few feet from her._

_"Go ahead, Saya, kill me," Carl said disdainfully. Saya charged at him but ceased her attack once her blade was against his chest in a bandolier-style._

_"Why are you holding back? Saya, don't you want to kill me?" Carl asked contemptuously, he was playing with her._

_"But before that, I want to die," Saya whispered. She reversed the direction of her sword and sliced it through her chest so quickly that not even Carl could perceive the feel of her blade leave his chest. The sword had sliced through the space between her breasts, striking the arteries of her heart. Blood leaked from her mouth, she moaned painfully, falling to her knees with her sword still in hand._

_"Saya!" Carl cried, grabbing her and pulling her upright by her shoulders. Saya pushed on the hilt harder and it sliced deeper, she coughed up blood. Carl grabbed the hilt and pulled the sword from her chest. Saya screamed in pain. Carl hugged her, quickly placing his mouth on hers and biting deep into his own tongue. Blood distilled into Saya's mouth and down her throat. Her sight of Carl blurred, Carl whispered in her ear._

_"Saya, please don't die," he was crying. Saya could feel tears spring from her eyes as well, her hands slid up Carl's back to his shoulder blades. Grasping him and finding a warmth that she always wished was tangible._

_"Carl..." she whimpered in his ear and smiled. She felt her wound slowly heal, but her entire body throbbed from the hemorrhaging. Carl's hand pressed against the back of her head, his other arm around her waist. Saya panted and gasped into tears, Carl was sounding so sensitive and real._

_She could barely feel the ache in her body and chest as Carl lifted her up and carried her. Her eyes closed and when she woke up she was lying in Carl's bed with Carl next to her, holding her like she was dead._

_"I am glad you decided to live," Carl said, his lips came to her neck. He kissed her softly, though, not forcefully like he was about to bite her. He wasn't on top of her either, but his weight was supported on Saya's right side._

_"Why? You should've let me die!" Saya cried. Carl kissed her sweetly, caressing her jaw with his fingers._

_"You are my reason for living, my enemy, and my lover," Carl whispered. Carl traveled downward, his ear pressing against the space between Saya's breasts, where Saya had stabbed herself._

_"Your heart is a little weak. What the hell were you thinking?" Carl asked aggressively, his hands pressing against her shoulders. Carl traveled upward and looked into her eyes._

_"I was thinking about being free of the pain your love has caused me," Saya confessed numbly. Carl didn't respond, his lips pressed again her right cheekbone as Saya sat up.  
_

_"I can be gentler if you wish," Carl mocked. His lips moved to her jaw, and then to her mouth. But, before he kissed her lips he placed his thumb on her lips and caressed them, admiring their softness. The kisses came slower and gentler than before. His previous kisses and caresses were lustful and rough, this time he was gentle and passionate. He was doing this to break Saya, to make her cry. To make her realize that she loved Carl in both heart and mind. Saya pushed him away and squirmed away from him. But, she couldn't go far; her body was tired because of the hemorrhaging. She would need to feed, but, however, the closest blood source was Carl. Nonetheless, Saya didn't want to taste his blood again; despite how sweet it was.  
_

_Carl kissed her again, and tugged the sleeves away from her shoulders, wanting to taste more. Saya was still in her blood-spattered kimono._

_"Ca-Carl...don't make me do this. Please," Saya whispered softly. She couldn't fight in her condition; only endure until her strength would return._

_"So, you do want it?" Carl teased, his fingers traveling to the nape of her neck and caressing her skin. He pressed his lips against her collar bones, crawling on top of her and pushing her back. He opened her kimono, his chest pressing against hers. Blood stained Saya's skin, which only aroused Carl's want for Saya more. He bit into her neck, his mouth filling with the crimson nectar he craved. Saya squeaked, her throat tingling from the craving for Carl's blood. When Carl finished off his drinking Saya's lips pressed against his neck, tasting like she never had before._

_She bit down hard and began drinking. Carl's blood would help her heal, and give her back her strength. She had to drink his blood, she had to keep fighting and running as long as she could. When she finished, which was few long moments later, she craned her neck back and breathed in deeply. The coldness of Carl's blood making her shiver. _

_"Tell me, Saya, does your Chevalier caress both of your breasts?" he teased. How dare he ask about Saya's personal life? Saya grasped the blanket and flinched; her lover smirked. Carl's lips traveled downward, to her breast__s.** RIP**, he tore the straps of her bra and soon the cups. He kissed her buds and his lips continued on the mound. His mouth sucking at one side of her left breast, leaving teeth marks and soft bruises. His lips continued downward, as his lips reached her tummy, he roughly tore away her panties. Saya squeaked at his actions, her strength soon returning._

_She kicked him in the stomach before he could go any further. He was pushed back but that did not stop him. Saya wrapped her opened kimono around her body chest and looked at Carl fearfully and rather incensed at his actions. He had done that before, but when Saya was willing. At least he had some respect for her personal areas._

_Saya felt at the bite marks, they soon healed. No words came to mind, Carl neared her again. She held her kimono tighter around herself, not wanting to reveal her naked body to him anymore. Before, when they were lovers, Carl had always been gentle and sweet, in both their lovemaking and conversations. She did not deny, she gave in. How she grew to be enamored of him...the reason was completely mystified._

_She turned her head as Carl's fingers came to her jaw, his thumb caressing her chin. His leaned into her face in an attempt to kiss her sweetly, Saya denied._

_"I want children," Carl said. Saya turned to face him, tears sprung in her eyes._

_"Children?" Saya whimpered, Carl wiped her tears away._

_"Let's make a new life, Saya. You, Diva, and I. And, our future children; you seemed happy when you discovered you were pregnant with my spawn, for the first time," Carl said, his right hand traveling to Saya's stomach. Saya recalled the feeling of new life, beautiful and unwanted life. She placed her hands on Carl's._

_"No matter how many times you deny it I am still inside you. Can you feel a part of us becoming one, where the babies once were?" Carl asked, somewhat gently._

_"The...babies?" Saya asked. Whenever Carl mentioned their 'children' Saya went blank. All she could feel was this ache in her heart, and a pleasurable throb in her womb._

_"Yes, our babies," Carl teased. More tears streamed from Saya's eyes, Carl wiped her tears away. He licked his finger where the remainder of tears were. Her sadness, pain, and denial was delicious; it derived from him. Their love caused her so much pain and suffering, it enraptured his lonely soul. Saya's pain and tears would always enrapture him.  
_

_"You don't have to fight me anymore," Carl said, his hands slipping under Saya's kimono, caressing her ribcage._

_"I promised you children; I promised you happiness and my love. And I also..." Carl whispered in her ear, kissing the spot between her cheekbone and jaw._

_"...Promised revenge." he said, he slipped Saya's kimono off. He did not hesitate to feel her. He slipped his clothing off within a blink of an eye and eagerly began to make love to Saya. And at the moment of plopping his body against hers he had to stifle his body's actions. He was about to plunge into her and pour his passion into her soul. Nevertheless, his work had to be taken one step at a time. At first, he just took in the feeling of her bare flesh against his own. Their bare skin; the blood rushing and veins seeming more salient. For the first few minutes Carl just toyed with his lover; curling her hair, pressing his hips between her parted legs, anything that made Saya make the slightest sound. He dare wriggle his hips as his hardness pressed against her core. Saya whimpered, her nails digging into his shoulder. Blood flowed under her fingernails and distiled down her fingers. She moaned loudly as Carl pressed himself harder between her legs, nudging against her core.  
_

_"Hagi..." Saya whimpered, trying to deny the pleasure. Carl chuckled and stroked the spot where he bruised her breast. Carl softly kissed her neck, nibbling at her flesh. Saya squeaked, trying to deny._

_"Shh, Saya. We will become one," Carl promised. He entered her and Saya's back arched as she screamed. Saya caressed Carl's hair, running the thick strands between her fingers. Each like a river of rare silk. Carl rubbed her stomach, just above her womb; trying to ease Saya as she winced. Indeed, his entry brought Saya pain every time. He wiped her tears away and kissed her trembling eyelids. This time, he knew he would have to be gentle. He pulled out, for he would not spill into her yet, not until Saya accepted him. He straddled her waist for a moment and moaned; she was so warm and the silken flesh only drove him crazy. He kissed her breasts, taking their buds between his fingers and teasingly caressing them with his lips and tongue. His lips then moved back to Saya's neck and then to her chin. He began to enter her again, which made Saya whimper._

_Carl grasped her hand, kissing her fingertips and tasting her skin. He solaced her with the caress and moaned her name. He whispered promises of their future and love; their children. The children that he and Saya did not have a chance to create. Now he had that chance and he was not going to squander it. Through it all his hand never left hers, he would share the pain of life giving with her. His children would take growth in Saya's womb and they would be one once again. _

_Saya screamed his name and her body tensed in a pleasurable throb. Once Carl saw that Saya had fully given in, he entered her harder and faster; resulting in heavenly pleasure. They drove themselves over the limit and fell into the world of screaming euphoria; which beckoned them so. With each entry they became one; their pleasure and pain merging into passion. Their lovemaking continued for hours more, Carl held Saya's hand every moment. After what seemed like their trip to heaven and back Carl, once again, spilt his seed inside her and plopped onto her. The blissful exhaustion took over him, he held Saya and his head rested on her chest; he listened to her heartbeat and smirked.  
_

_Lulled to sleep by the sound of her heart beating, he shut his eyes and knew that what needed to be done was done.  
_


	10. Plant of Deception, What Hath Thy Done?

"_Hagi forgive me..." Saya whispered as she lay still in Carl's arms. Carl, in his world, slept for the first time in decades. Saya lie awake, feeling guilty and somewhat happy. She set her hands on her stomach and regretfully smiled. Soon new life would spring in her womb._

* * *

"What do the sleep monitor stats show?" Kai asked. Julia looked at the recorded stats and then looked somewhat shocked. 

"Saya...Saya had an orgasm a few minutes back," Julia said.

"That sick bastard PHANTOM!" Kai said, punching the wall. His fist began to bleed, he had broken his knuckles.

"Relax Kai, it's a good thing," Julia said, taking a sip of her tea. She was too old to drink coffee, and it also upset her stomach nowadays.

"What do you mean it's a good thing?!" Kai shouted.

"Kai, if Saya had an orgasm that means that she's not being traumatized. Carl isn't raping her or beating her. Everyone would rather their lovemaking then having Saya wake up and lose control because of the trauma," Julia said, trying to sound sanguine. She had to be optimistic for Kai and everyone else.

"Is there a way to wake Saya up?" Kai asked softly, rubbing his knuckles.

"Would you like me to give you a sling?" Julia asked.

"NO! I want to know if there is a way to wake Saya up!" Kai yelled. Julia went silent and then looked back down at screen where Saya's sleeping stats recorded. So far it was constant REM sleep, but no eye or bodily movement.

"I'm sorry Kai, but there is no unnatural way. The only way she can escape naturally is if Carl let's her. If we attempt to wake her up unnaturally she'll lose control and other possible side-effects will occur in her body. The only way to get her out of there without her losing it or hurting her is if one of her Chevaliers goes with her into Carl's World and kills Carl. And, so far as I know, there's no way to do that unless the world's creator allows it," Julia said. Solomon had told her everything he knew about Chevalier Worlds.

"I-I wonder if Saya dreams in that world," Getsuei said softly_  
_

* * *

_Saya silently slipped out of bed and dressed herself in a new kimono. She tried her best not to wake Carl. She walked out the door and ran out of the mansion. What had she done? She had lain with another man for pleasure! She had betrayed Hagi by this infidelity. She had disappointed everyone she loved, and perhaps even her dead children. _

_What seeds were sown in her womb now? What life would blossom because of her infidelity? What did she allow her enemy to place inside her that would soon cause her unwanted pleasure?_

_In this world, perhaps, she would be with children. But, she was not in her physical body; this was a place where her mind was bound. Her physical body would have no effect. Then again, when he brought her to his world she had a miscarriage. That was real; perhaps his influence had grown to match the effectiveness of the real world? Did she have a physical body in this world and was only pregnant in this world?  
_

_What plant of deception had she sown? Why did she reap it? _

"_Oh God...What have I done?!" she screamed into the sky. There were only two options. To either kill Carl or kill herself. _


	11. Be Angry At Me! Don't Pity Me

_Saya fell to her knees in desperation and anxiety, trying not to believe what she had just done. She had to leave and never sleep again. She had to make her memories come back so she'd be fully awake. So she'd know how to obtain the strength to always stay awake and never sleep again. She placed her face in her hands and wept loudly._

"_Oh Hagi, please forgive me..." she cried. She curled up into a ball on the ground and wept. Her eyes grew tired. _

"_Go back Saya, tell your friends of how you've betrayed them. I'm sure they already know," Carl's voice said. The world faded and within a moment she was opening her eyes to a white room. _

"Wha-what? Where am I? Man I feel so nauseous," she said as she sat up, pulling wires from her head. Julia entered the room and smiled kindly.

"You've been out for a while," Julia said softly. Saya turned her head aside, not wanting to look at her friend while knowing how she deceived her and everyone else.

"How long?" she asked.

"About a few days," Julia said and she stepped aside from the door. Hagi, Solomon, Kai, the twins, and everyone else she knew stepped in. Solomon hugged her and smiled happily, he was so happy to that Saya was in good condition. The hug parted and he sat beside her on the bed as did Hagi.

"We monitored your sleep," Hakumei said. Saya's eyes widened at the thought of them discovering about her and Carl.

"What-what did you guys find out about my sleep pattern?" Saya asked in a tremulous tone. She gripped the blanket and stared shamefully at her lap.

"Nothing that you didn't want in your sleep," Kai said angrily. Saya touched his hand, so, they had discovered what she had done with Carl. They must've done some heavy monitoring then. How ashamed she felt; true, in a subtle part of her soul she still loved Carl. While, the guilty pleasure washed in over her entire heart, deepening her unwanted passion for him. How it disgraced her heart to bear such love.

"Oh, Kai. I'm so sorry," Saya whispered. Kai pulled his hand away and walked out of the room. He was angry at Saya...But he'd have to face her sooner or later.

"Saya, we're not mad at you. We know that Carl's death has made you feel a little...shameful that you killed him. We are not angry if you've slept with him," Hagi said in his usual, tranquil, tone. Saya looked up at him and smiled. She was so lucky to have a lover like Hagi. He was never angry at her; he was always looking out for her.

And she...She betrayed him. She betrayed him by loving Carl, speaking to him, and wanting to have children with him. Oh, how vulnerable she was. How culpable she was for betraying who she loved; even if she hadn't meant it.

"No...You must be angry with me!" Saya cried, she felt tears stream down her cheeks. She hugged her knees and began to weep for herself.

"Please! How can I get rid of him?! How can make him stop?!" Saya cried. Hagi held her but Saya fought back his embrace, though she soon found solace in his arms. She leaned against his chest, weeping and panting heavily. All she ever wanted to do when she was around Carl was cry. She wanted to cry, bleed, and scream the soul-killing passion away. The tears in her eyes were rapture from her regrets for a little while, and Hagi would solace her in any way possible. Even if it mean killing her, like he had promised long ago.

"Saya, I could never find myself to be angry with you. Only be angry at ones who hurt you...And out of anger; I will _kill _Phantom," he promised with a trifle of anger in his tone. Saya's head dug further into his chest and tried to articulate her words. But, she was just a jumble of pain, regret, and relief now.

"You can't kill him! You'll have to kill me to stop him!" Saya cried.

"We'll find a way, nankurunaisah," Hagi solaced. Saya's eyes shut and she recalled Carl's World, it was beautiful. It was filled with beauty, wonder, and relief...And so sinful to find solace in. It wasn't a home one would like to stay in a long time. She recalled their child; she wanted to bring her daughter here. Her daughter looked so happy, as if she had forgotten all that had happened to her. As if her mind had been reborn and new memories flooded in to the replace the pain before it returned. How it hurt to see her daughter; she resembled Carl so much. She was a part of Carl and she was a part of Saya; their flesh and soul merging into one. She had become _one_ with Carl. It hurt...It _all _hurt. Everything Carl told her, did to her, and showed her all hurt. It made her want to stay with him and made her grateful for being his _lover_. That is how Carl truly hurt her; not with physical pain but with images, words, and wordless caresses.

"Hagi..." she whimpered. Hagi looked down at her and Saya looked up at him; a soft smile tugged at the edges of her lips.

"Promise me that if we cannot defeat him that'll you watch over me as I sleep. You'll watch over me and try to wake me up from the beautiful nightmare," Saya said softly with sadness and desperation in her voice.

"Forever and ever, Saya." Hagi promised...With pity in his tone.


	12. Watch Over Me As I Die

Once Saya left the hospital she demanded that she be taken to the Otonashi Memorial and left alone. Hagi argued with her, well not really, he suggested that she not be left alone. Saya demanded that she'd better be left alone inside that tomb, Hagi would have to wait for her outside despite any noise she made. There was a reason why Hagi did not want Saya to go in alone. Saya, feeling guilt, had set up a small memorial inside the tomb. Just a few candles of his favorite scent, a few written notes of Saya's remorse and passion. His mask...The mask that hid his face from her and cajoled her to believe his lies.

She entered the small stone room that she had decorated for him. She fell to her knees instantly and began to weep, her hands pressing against her stomach.

"Why?! You bastard! Why are you doing this to me?!" Saya cried. The candles in the tomb suddenly lit up and the light touched her skin. She opened her eyes and blinked; it suddenly felt warmer in the room. A chill ran up her spine despite the warmth of the tomb.

_**You did this to yourself, Saya.**_

_Carl? Are you really here?_

_**You have yet to understand that I cannot put myself in the physical world.**_

_Get the hell out of my mind!_

**_Why? You're in my tomb. After all, as the father of what is growing in your womb, I have right to see my bride._**

Saya suddenly felt as if she gone, like she was floating. She was still in the tomb but the essence of Carl's world touched her soul. She fell to her knees and began to weep. The aroma of blue roses filled the air and the tomb's stone walls were covered with thorny vines of blue roses.

**_Well than..._**

_His voice became more real and clear._

_"This is much better. Don't you agree, Saya?" he appeared before her; standing over her and smirking at her impishly._

_"I'm asleep, aren't I?" Saya whimpered softly, trying to sound bold._

_"No, just in a trance. But you will sleep soon, and when you do, the babies will grow and once you give birth to our children...Let us just say you will be lost from your Chevalier for all time," he mocked. He knelt before her and smirked. He set his hands on her face and he gazed into her eyes...Absolute beauty, the torment and denial detailing her face. Absolutely beauty, the tears like precious jewels, her miserable expression; an angel sculpted countenance, and her implores, whimpers and screams...Much more beautiful music than Diva's singing. _

_"Beautiful...I assume they already know of what you and I have done?" Carl mocked. Saya screamed in anger and pushed him aside. _

_"Why are you doing this to me?!" Saya screamed. Carl came back to her and hugged her. He rubbed her back and solaced her with the caress. _

_"Saya, Saya, Saya. You're so weak when you're like this. But, the creatures in your womb compensate for that. They are a merged portion of our soul!" he exulted evilly. _

_"Get away!" Saya pushed him away and ran. Nonetheless, she didn't make it to the exit. Carl ran in front of her and blocked her. He would never let her evade him. She **could** and **would** be his. He neared her and tried to touch her face but Saya denied and ambled back a few steps. _

_"Saya, why can't you accept that a part of me is now inside you?!" he asked in a mocking tone. He gently stroked her cheek and Saya flinched away.  
_

_"Because...I HATE YOU! Please, just go!" Saya screamed. She was about to slap him but Carl grabbed her wrist. He examined her curled fingers and kissed her knuckles gently. Saya's fingertips tingled and her hand balled into a fist as his lips continued to caress her hand. When he finished, he looked at her and smirked.  
_

_"Do you remember when we first made love?" he asked passionately. Saya's eyes widened at that thought; their first consensual evening together? Had it really been out of love? Was it even consensual? Or enjoyable to think about?  
_

_"Yes," Saya cried softly. She fell to knees and Carl with her. He held her hands as she whimpered; his lips narrowed to a smirk._

_"You didn't know who I was then. You had no idea I was your enemy, you did not deny. You were happy to have been my lover then," Carl said. He wiped her tears away and Saya looked up at him._

_"Were you not?" Carl asked softly. _

_Saya...Saya...SAYA!_

Saya's broke from the trance weakly. Her eyes opened and she saw Hagi; his arms were around her. Saya tried to move but couldn't; her body was being drained of all its energy. What was Carl doing to her?

"Hagi..." tears beginning to shed from her eyes. She looked so ashen and miserable; a tormented beauty. How beautiful her affliction was to her sinful lover; Carl. Hagi would do anything for Saya, but there were things even he couldn't do for her. He couldn't grant her children, a happy life, or anything more than his devotion and heart.

"Please, watch over me. I-I love you...I'm so sorry that I can't-that I can't keep my eyes open anymore..." she whispered faintly. Her eyes closed and she fell into a slumber in which she would _never_ return.

**_Welcome to my world, Saya._**


	13. The Moment of Truth, a Dramatic Title

I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED YET! Final exams are coming up at my school and I've been studying like hell. Plus, juggling Cross Country, Wrestling, and homework, I have had very little time on the computer. So, thus story is temporarily complete until I get a load off my back and start putting my ideas into their full potential! Anyhow, as tribute to my fellow fans and for your patience, I will grant you all three spoiler scene;

1st Spoiler;

_ "What do you mean mother will die if we keep her here?" Diva asked. She set her hands on the back of the chair and leaned forward, putting her weight on the chair. Her father looked over at Saya, who lie sleeping in their bed, their babies curled up besides her. Their babies were beautiful, yet, Saya would never see them again._

2nd Spoiler;

_"Hagi..." Saya whispered. Her eyes heavy with exhaustion and sorrowful reprieval. She held a finger to his lips and smiled subtly. The shadows caressed her face beautifully, accentuating the trite loveliness in her sorrowful expression.  
_

_"Take me to the place where I will sleep. Let me wake to never recall such pain again..." Hagi nodded his head though he knew what Saya meant. For Saya would never know pain again. As he carried her, to the chilly fortification her mind would rest in, he wondered if she dreams anymore. If she did, maybe she would remember their love one last time before awakening._

3rd Spoiler;

_"Who-Who are you?" Saya asked. She stared at the tall man before her without blinking. As if he was the only thing with her while she lied still on the cold stone ground. Her throat quenched and stomach aching. A long black river of tresses flowing from her head. She reached her hand upward to touch the man and he grabbed her hand. He knelt before her and kissed her forehead._

_"My name is Hagi. But you can call me Carl," he said as sadistic grin narrowed at the edges of his lips. _


	14. The Ribbons That Be Our Shackles

* * *

Here's an update, finally...

* * *

Sorry it took SOOO long! Oh, and you all will disappointed at the ending of this trilogy, trust me!

* * *

Saya eyes opened feebly to the world she so despised, groaning, she arched her back and stretched. The world was spinning and so vague, yet so clear and stable. Suddenly a warm embrace met her torso and she fell back onto what was a silken bed. A warm hand met her face, she smiled and her hand met that hand. It was so warm, so soft, like silk. Smooth silky tresses met her face as warm, soft lips met hers delicately. She smiled beneath the light kiss.

"Hagi..." she whispered. Those same lips breathed over her cheek and dragged to her ear, she could almost see the smirk on her caresser's face as he began to chuckle.

"Hagi is dead to you now," he chuckled. Saya's eyes went wide, the world finally seeming so clear, and wriggled away from her tormentor.

"No..." she wept as she got a good look at Carl. She bit her lower lip as he neared her, tears filling her eyes as his lips met hers once again. How could she just accept this? True, she wasn't full awake and therefore was quite vulnerable and weak...But did this absolve the sin she had committed by loving this man and willingly making love to him like when she used to in what felt like long since past? This riddle was without answer, but it was sin she had committed most certainly. Carl's lips found her trembling eyelids and his hands found her waist, pulling her close as she wept.

"Hagi...HAGI...!" she wept over and over again. She knew she had lost him once due to her life's tragedy, and now she had lost him again because of her own selfish desire to be with a man who had hurt her incessantly for his own personal pleasure! Perhaps this man could be considered her first lover but he most certainly would not get that far with her again. She was just so desperate to end the pain, end it even for a moment, just so she could feel happy again. Perhaps that was the reason why she was assenting to this man's wishes when he so passionately took his own actions to fulfill them.

Carl's strong hand found her neck and he squeezed tightly. Forcing Saya's eyes to widen and her to gasp for air.

"Will you cease your pathetic weeping?!" Carl questioned in a demanding manner. Malice filled his voice, how could Saya have ever found happiness with this monster?! He tossed her back onto the bed, making her yelp as her head hit the bedpost. But she tried her best not to weep, anything to keep him from hurting her. She bit her tongue until she felt blood fill her mouth, her other bodily pains slowly fading away into oblivion as pain flared inside her mouth. Saya swallowed the blood, feeling the flesh heal. Carl instantly stood from the bed as her head met the bedpost, rather satisfied with his actions to break her.

"Now why do you weep? You should be so happy to be with me now! I have saved our love...Why? Isn't this just another fantasy of Romeo and Juliet?" his last words nearly sounding benign. Saya just stared at him, eyes wide and sorrowful. She needed to be strong, needed to be strong to remember her past so that she may have some hope to kill this man she might still conisder her lover. Nonetheless, for now, she had to comply. Perhaps he would be gentler on her if she complied? Though he would surely figure out her intentions, however, he had no fear of them. If he did wouldn't he have killed her a long time ago in her sleep, wouldn't he have? But anything to gain his kindness now so she could devise a plan to get out of this so-called paradise. Her hate for him was strong, but so was the pleasurable ache in her heart to love him. It seemed as though while flames burned in her belly her heart's joyful tears of love kept drowning them while they still burnt. She soon hoped those tears would dry up soon for him and form an ocean for Hagi.

"I-I...Forgive me Carl. Please," she begged sweetly. Carl smiled contently and sat down beside her. He set his hand on her face and kissed her lips. Unwillingly, Saya gave in, anything to make him think that she was now bound to him willingly. Gently, he pulled the sleeve of her kimono down, his cold fingers coming in contact with her flesh. Saya shuddered and every part of her being screamed for her to make him stop. But Saya knew she couldn't take any chances now, not yet...Defeated by her own choice she let Carl's hand travel under the clothe of her kimono. His cold fingers finding her breasts, Saya gasped beneath his lips as his fingers slid carelessly over her nipple. He wasn't even bothering to tease her delicate network of nerves, not yet. He was not looking for pleasure, he was looking for his precious gift.

Saya's lips parted from his as Carl's hand found her stomach. She set her hand on his while using her free hand to pull her sleeve up. She did not want him to see the goosebumps that rose into her skin as he touched her so. She looked down and away from him, unable to come to face with her pregnancy, however, it was inevitable now that she was pregnant.

"Why so grim my beloved one?" he teased her. He kissed her earlobe as he stroked the hair away from one side of her face.

"Nothing is bothering me. I am just wondering...What will happen to my physical body?" she asked. True, it was a lie, but she had been wondered what was going to happen to her true body.

"Nothing, when your body enters its hibernation it shall remain in hibernation forever, seeing that your mind will not rouse from this place until I see fit. Your body shall forever be protected by that cocoon until the world ends. Then you shall truly be mine until we both can find physical forms to better suit the pleasure of being with each other," he said. He had really thought this whole thing out. Saya forced a soft smile on her face as she looked up at him. His soft fingers found her chin as he kissed her forehead, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"You must be hungry, here," he said as he opened his kimono. He pulled Saya closer, her warm hands being forced to touch the area on his chest where his heartbeat was most strong. For a moment Saya could feel her blood beat through his veins, becoming one with him, or at least begging to become one with him. Her right hand draw downward, caressing the flesh as her fingers flowed the blood flow. Carl grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from his stomach and back onto his chest.

"Go ahead, feed," Carl said softly. Saya trembling lips parted, she was so drawn to his blood, so wanting to be one with him. So wanting her weakness to be his so she could kill him and finally be free from the blue roses and crimson ribbons that stained his earth.

Her fangs descended as her mouth came closer and closer to his bare chest. Ravenously, and somewhat reluctantly, she bit down into his porcelain flesh, securing her hands on his chest. Carl's hands found her shoulder-blades and he pulled her closer and she fed. He let out a deep moan as she fed. Saya, who was unwilling to drink too much pulled her fangs back from his chest and looked away from him as he binded his kimono back.

"Dress yourself in a dress my beloved titan. I wish to spend time with you and our daughter tonight, let this be _our_ family reunion," he said. He gave her one last kiss before leaving the room to let her change in private. The moment he left Saya fell back onto the bed and burst into tears.

"Hagi..." she wept.

She was so alone in this wasn't she?


	15. Sorrow of the Depraved

It had been months since entered this world. True, this world was beautiful and anything needed would be granted. She so loved spending time with the daughter she had lost because of Phantom. She had learned much about Diva, true, she looked more like her father, she had more of Saya's personality. Nonetheless, despite that, she hated it here. It was impossible to go back, the only reason she allowed herself to stay was because of Diva and Diva alone. She hated her lover more than ever, and yet, whenever they were asleep in bed she would sometimes hear him crying in his sleep. Pity would overtake her senses and hatred and she's hold him close until he was calm and submissive. She sometimes tried to look back into her past, but could find nothing to help her escape. Deep down though, she knew she didn't want to escape this life, this paradise. She had her daughter here, she was pregnant with her 'lover's' lovechildren, and she was able to be with the daughter she lost.

Had she not reminded herself of her loyal Chevalier in the other realm she would not have hated Karl. Hagi was the only man she ever loved who would never hurt her, not in the way Karl hurt her. The way he looked at her was stoic, but one could tell he care deeply for his beloved master. They made love and she was pregnant, she bore his lovechild until Karl took that away. He took everything away from. He took her purity, the blood spilt so delicately and he drank the stains from her trembling skin. He stole her away, making sure that she would be his own as was her purity. He betrayed her, lying to her when she didn't know any better but to believe him. He killed their daughter, cursing her to bear hatred for her father until he beckoned her and promised her paradise. He tried to kill her beloved ones, assuring that he was all she had left.

Yet, out of all that she remembered when he was kind to her. When he held her close each night until she slept soundly. He would kiss her with passion and he would solace her with compassion. He would take her hand when the nightmares trapped her and led her to the light. He tried to create a future for her, a future with Diva, children, and their love. And when his plan was torn at the seams he wallowed in the ruins of his love and fell in love with madness and sorrow. He was not willing to let his only chance of solace escape him, no, he would never let his Saya escape. He cared for her, she knew that, but he didn't care if her heart was aching because of her lost beloved. No, he only cared about their love, about preserving what's left of it, even if there wasn't any of it left. Now, she was tied to him, like a puppet was to a string.

* * *

Saya had only delivered her babies a few days ago. Their names were Kira and Akira. Unlike Diva, however, they resembled their mother more than their father. One night while Saya was playing with them she felt utterly weak and had to lie down. When she woke up her babies were gone and she had been changed into her nightgown. Carl noticed her symptoms...They were the symptoms of her long sleep. Surely, a much greater amount of time passed in the human world where Saya's true body did lay. If he calculated it correctly than Saya's long sleep was approaching. It was something he had feared. During a Queen's sleep their mind was vulnerable. Saya's mind was in this world, but her brain in the other, and her sleeping body needed her mind to be at ease. This assured a calm hibernation. The forbidden knowledge of this world worried his mind, this world where he was in control yet their were forces beyond him.

One lovely afternoon, he and Diva were sitting on the bed next to Saya, who was asleep and cuddled up next to her newborn babies.

"What do you mean mother will die if we keep her here?" Diva asked. She set her hands on the back of the chair and leaned forward, putting her weight on the chair. Her father looked over at Saya, who lie sleeping in their bed, their babies curled up besides her. Their babies were beautiful, yet, Saya would never see them again.

"It is true," he said.

"But, I've slept while I was here and in my own world," Diva wept.

"Your phsycial body and brain were destoryed, your mind is your true body now. But Saya's isn't. The knowledge this world gave me, it tells me if I don't let her mind be at ease while she sleeps. Time here passes more quickly, he will be only a year to us, but, she won't be able to come back. Hagi would be too reluctant to let her have her memories back, he'd do it on his own accord to keep her safe. However, if there is one thing I love the more than having Saya with me is having Saya alive and well," he leaned forward and kissed his lover's forehead.

Saya stirred for a moment before she opened her eyes to his face. Hatred filled her for a moment, before she saw the sorrowful expression on his depraved face.

"You're going home, love," and then it was all blank as she opened her eyes to old world.


	16. The Cut Edges of This Diary's Page

Yeah, I've kept you all waiting. I've been helping other people write their stories and working on my own novel. :) LOVES YOU ALL FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME!

THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

NO NEW BOOKS RELATING TO THIS TRILOGY! MUST WORK ON MY CARLXSOLOMON AND SO FORTH!

P.S: Read my Death Note fic, it's yaoi, KiraxL, and I want you to give me advice if anything seems out of canon.

* * *

Saya embraced Hagi as she saw his face. Her lover's arms finding her tiny waist immediately as she wept into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Hagi! Please forgive me! Don't let me go back! Please!" she cried aloud into his shoulder. Her screams of pity and repentance echoed around the room as she held her beloved chevalier tighter. He rubbed her back and solaced her as she cried. He would not allow her to feel guilty, she barely knew who she was and probably, still, had hardly any memories of her past. She had been outside of the slumber world for so long, she would have to go back soon, into hibernation. The least he could do for her was to make her feel alive and well.

"Saya," Kai entered. He didn't look too different, despite his old age, he was in shape and so forth. Julia entered also, as well as Hakumei and Getsuai along with the others.

"Where-where's David?" Saya asked.

"I'm sorry, but, he passed away not too long ago," Julia told her sadly as she checked Saya's stats. Saya was perfectly healthy, despite the heavy bags beneath her eyes. They all conversed, mainly on how Saya was feeling before they asked her about her slumber. She told them that how she realized how much she hated Carl, but also how she pitied him. She also said that should not help but feel compassion for him. Truly, he was evil, but was bleeding his one, true longing within...To be loved. Honestly, though, Saya never did answer the questions completely. She just wanted to forget all that happened, and that's when Hagi stepped in and told the others to be silent.

"Saya, we have some bad news," Julia spoke. Saya looked up at her, unwilling to hear it but she knew that she would have to. She learned that it was better to get things over with in order to move on and leave it behind.

"Y-yes?" Saya squeaked. Hagi held her shoulders softly, as if preparing to hold her.

"You were asleep for nearly three years, we don't know how much time you have left until your hibernation," Julia told her in a melancholy tone. Saya's face and eyes were dominated by tears and she was left to weep in her lover's forgotten arms. But, not even that, could solace her.

* * *

Saya laid quietly on her bed, she was finally home. She smelled the food that Kai was preparing downstairs. She knew he was making boiled eggs; her favorite dish. She smiled slightly as Hagi leaned in and kissed her cheek. She missed his languid caresses, his lips, and love. She turned to her side and cuddled with him. She missed this so much. She could not count the times that she held Carl like this and she wanted to kill herself afterwards. Carl's body was indeed handsome, but to her it felt like frozen tips of broken glass. It was awful. However, when she held Hagi like this, he was warm and it felt like thousands of warm ribbons her enevloping her into his perfect gift. She loved the feeling so, she would hate having to sleep for thirty years.

But...What would happen in thirty years? If Hagi gave her his blood when she awoke, would she be prone to Carl's fantasies again. YES! She would, she couldn't handle that. She wanted to be with Hagi, even if it meant that she couldn't remember him. She needed him and she would not forsake him when she stood awake.

"H-Hagi," she whispered softly in her ear.

"I-I want you to promise me something," she said.

"What is your wish?" he asked.

"I-I can't tell you yet, w-when the time is right," with that she shed a single tear.

* * *

Dinner was wonderful that evening. Truly, the laughter and memories flooded into Saya's mind and drowned the liquid sorrow. It was diluted but it was so apparent, like that shadows outside the window. She giggled softly as Kai did an impression of George, whom she did remember somewhat, especially his jokes. They all shared their memories, bringing forth pieces of a puzzle for Saya to put together. The window that was once broken and blocked nothing was now back together and kept the darkness outside where it belonged as the light flooded in. It was almost like a dream, and Saya would soon know, what it was like to dream again.

For that evening, Saya could not stop thinking of the Otanashi tomb. She couldn't stop thinking of the ocean that surrounded and it melodic lullabies that hummed the roused dead to sleep. How could she love something she so hated? That tomb would conceal her for thirty years, she'd be in the shadows and almost nonexistent to the world. What could she do? She couldn't run from it, at all, and as if she were asleep she nearly fainted into exhaustion. She knew this feeling, this tiredness. It was nearly time, she'd have to enter her slumber within a few short hours.

She rose from her bed and slipped off her clothes until she was naked, exposing the thin but toned flesh. She made way to her closet and pulled out a bikini. It wasn't that revealing and covered her decently, unlike the slutty ones she remembered seeing Mao wear all those years ago. She didn't know why, but she wanted to swim in that ocean, to swim in that lullaby that would heal her so. It was damaging, yet it solaced her, that peaceful song being her only companion while she slept.

With the bikini finally on she slipped on a light dress.

"Saya," her loyal chevalier spoke.

"I want to go swimming," she told him.

"As you wish," he spoke.

"With you, do you have any trunks?" she turned to him. He shook his head.

"I am perfectly fine with swimming in my pants," he told her, almost embarrassed, but he had to answer his mistress.

"Okay," she smiled. This was a true smile, like she gave earlier that evening. But this one held a sad truth. Nonetheless, Hagi dare not mention it to his mistress, for she knew and he knew that she did not want to be reminded of whatever was troubling her. They left through the window, Hagi carried Saya on her back as he jumped from building top to building top until they finally reached the beach. Saya slowly removed her dress before stepping into the lukewarm ocean. Hagi joined her at her accord, almost playfully, they swam. Saya's giggles and Hagi's soft laughs, which he only exposed to his mistress, were incessant. They continued as they feel onto the beach, the ocean brushing up against their ankles. Hagi, accidentally landed on top of his mistress, she pulled him closer.

"Hagi," she whispered in his ear, "Make love to me, right here, please?"

Hagi's eyes scanned the area before they continued, alone and under the stars, they made love. Their naked forms nearly glowing as the ocean and moonlight bathed over them. Reaching their climaxes they collapsed into each other. Saya smiled up at her lover, it was done. Hagi dressed after helping Saya dress in the clothes she arrived in. Such innocence was broken, than why did it not stab him so?

"Hagi, take me to the tomb," she told him as she fell into his arms.

"It's time, isn't it?" he asked stoically.

"Yes. It is the only place I can tell you what I desire," thus he took her to the place where it all began.

* * *

"Hagi..." Saya whispered as they neared the top of the stairs. Her eyes heavy with exhaustion and sorrowful reprieval. She held a finger to his lips and smiled subtly. The shadows caressed her face beautifully, accentuating the trite loveliness in her sorrowful expression.

"Take me to the place where I will sleep. Let me wake to never recall such pain again..." Hagi nodded his head though he knew what Saya meant. For Saya would never know pain again. As he carried her, to the chilly fortification her mind would rest in, he wondered if she would be able to dream anymore. If she did, maybe she would remember their love one last time before awakening. He stood there as she feel asleep, a tear running down his cheek.

For he was told never to give her his blood again.

"Nankurunaisah," he whispered to himself, forever bound to the blood of his sacrifice.

* * *

For thirty years she slept, for thirty years he waited. He never left that tomb, his body grew weak from the lack of blood. He watched as his mistress's memory slowly faded away; her lovely face sometimes shined through the cocoon. Sometimes her eyes opened but closed so quickly, sometimes Kai and the family would visit. He would hide, it was his way of telling others that when Saya sleeps, he socailizes with no one.

Sometimes Kai would talk to him, even though he couldn't see him, and so forth. Kai died, the twins lived on and visited often. Julia died, Joel died, Louis died; everyone human family died. Time passed, the sky darkened and yet it would be so bright to Saya. For she would not remember it. Hagi was driven into insanity, rimming over the edge as he fought against himself. He tried to fight the will of his mistress, but he could not disobey her. He would not allow her pain. And she was the last thing he saw, before he gave it all up, and fell asleep for the first time in so long. Would he ever awake again?

Finally, his eyes opened and that day came. But, he could not move, he could not speak. His body possessed by something else, and no matter how much he fought to gain control he could not. He had lost it all and he left with his sanity. He watched as Saya tore from her cocoon, her fragile body starving. Nonetheless, whatever was controlling him would not give her blood. She needed it! He needed her to save him so he could save her! BY GOD HAD HE GONE INSANE?!

"Who-Who are you?" Saya asked. She stared at the tall man before her without blinking. As if he was the only thing with her while she lied still on the cold stone ground. Her throat quenched and stomach aching. A long black river of tresses flowing from her head. She reached her hand upward to touch the man and he grabbed her hand. He knelt before her and kissed her forehead.

"My name is Hagi. But you can call me Carl," he said as sadistic grin narrowed at the edges of his lips.

"Carl?" she asked, "That's a nice name."

Thus, Hagi was ended and as was his mistress's pain before he watched as she was killed by his own hand. He forced his blood down her throat once more, she writhed in pain as the memories flooded in. He hurt Hakumei and Getsuai, taking their blood on a dagger and using it to kill Saya. The demon left his body, Carl! It didn't matter how, and he held her crystallizing body in his arms. She could not return from the broken shards, the innocent glass. Finally, left with his own guilt, he took his own life with the poisonous blood left on the blade. Finally, now, they were together.

* * *

I know it's confusing, but, the next small series will explain it. Hell, I'll explain it now

Saya was entering her hibernation and her mind was from her body at the time. Thus, Carl needed to send her back in order to save her life. If he didn't, Saya would die, or worse for him, be unable to recall her memories and would no longer have the mind to be pulled in Carl's world. Thus, she would need Hagi's blood. Carl used Saya's blood within Hagi to control him to kill Saya while he forcefully gave her her memories back, in order to keep her with him. It was his plan, he did not have a physical form, and once realizing that Saya couldn't come back he went to Hagi in order to make it so. Thus, Saya's mind would be alive and her body would be destroyed without her mind being damaged.

Hagi killed himself in the end, be he did not win yet. :)


	17. Message To My Fans

Okay, I've been getting a lot of messages and reviews asking me to continue. Honestly, I was relieved to have finished the trilogy, but for my fans, maybe I'll write one last story concerning Hagi's POV on when he is with Saya in the afterlife. :)

CarlxSaya goodness as well as HagixSaya, HAGI DID NOT WIN IN THE END! MUWAHAHAHAHAH! Why do you think Carl used Hagi's body to kill Saya?

HEHEHEHEHHE!...I'm a sadisitic bitch. :)


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